Things I Learned About Myself by Moving 5,000 KM + An Ocean Away from Home
Call me crazy - but 1 month after getting married I told Matt I was ready for an adventure. As if getting married wasn't a crazy enough adventure! I learned very quickly after being with Matt that I needed to stop asking for things because he always had a way of making them happen! March 2015 a job posting appeared on the island of Kauai. At first it seemed like a pipe dream...I mean who wouldn't just apply for a job in Hawaii?! So that is what we did, applied for a job...had 3 long distance interviews...told our families + friends there was "potentially" an opportunity...they flew us out there for a final interview...we had a job offer...and sh!t got real! After a lot of back and forth we decided to book 2 one way tickets to Kauai. And here we are, 1 year later; and it's been the biggest adventure of my life so far. Like most curve balls in life there is always a lesson waiting for you to be learned...so here is what I can honestly say has been my learned lessons about myself + life over the last 365 days.
1. You'll Find Your Superpower
When you step WAY out of your comfort zone and have only yourself {+ your husband} to rely on - you work out what you are great at. I discovered my love of being an entrepreneur. That excitement of coming up with an idea and watching it grow {or not} into something I wanted to pursue. I discovered my love of being in control of my own destiny...a freedom I had never felt before. Somewhere in the whole trying to act like an adult thing, I totally forgot that I was the girl who at any given moment had about 9 ideas swirling through her head, I was the girl who loved to dream up her own ideas and see them come to life. Moving 5,000 km away from everything you know...everything becomes a whole lot clearer. Moving changes you. In a good way. Even if you don't truly understand what is going on, eventually it will all make sense.
2. You'll Learn to Let Go
Not just of stuff. Although I did. I emptied half of my wardrobe and donated it to my sisters + nieces. Landed in Kauai with 2 suitcases + 2 black Home Depot totes. All my worldly possessions. Plus a husband! At the time this felt like an impossible decision for me, deciding what I could bring and what would stay packed in boxes back home. I had spent years collecting the perfect items for our home...and now they were being wrapped in paper to sit in boxes for who knows how long {admittedly, I did send Matt out with 4 bags as well...and my next trip home came back with a few more boxes}. What I really mean is you learn to let go of people. Not the ones you love. Obviously. That would idiotic. But you learn who your true friends are and you learn to let go of those who aren't. The real truth lies in maintaining connections across an ocean, many miles and even time zones.
3. You'll Realize Your Inner Strength
When calling for help isn't as simple as just picking up the phone, you'll quickly rely on yourself + find that inner strength that everyone keeps talking about {but you thought was just something people kept saying}. Turns out, it actually is there. You'll learn to talk to random people, or suddenly be OK with sitting by yourself at a coffee shop, or taking your self to lunch. When you are forced to deal with a new culture + a new life, you take self discovery to a new level. You will be forced into new experiences and situations and you will find yourself doing something you never would have done before, you express yourself differently, you face fears with a renewed energy. Either way, you will surprise yourself by how capable you are at facing + overcoming all these hurdles + at a much faster pace than you expected.
4. You Never Forget that Relationships are Everything
There is nothing quite like moving thousands of miles away to really turn the spotlight on yourself + your relationship. When all you have is each other, it's hard not to take all your homesickness + frustration out on each other. That's totally normal + okay...in fact, it'd be weird if you didn't do it considering you're all each other has got. But it will also make you realize how much you value each other. You'll learn things about each other you might otherwise never known. Like how you never realized how little time you actually got to spend together but really enjoy each others company, or how your husband likes to play the same Florida Georgia Line songs while he showers + gets ready for weekend adventures, or how everyone once in while you will catch your husband singing to a song on the radio for just you to hear {rare...but it happens}. Just remember that what does not break you makes you stronger. Lame, I know. But it actually is true.
5. You'll Learn what Matters Most
Before we left Canada I was working full time and had started a side business with my sister, Matt was working full time + should have been paid for the amount of fishing he was doing...we were busy! We spent our weekends running errands, cleaning the house, squeezing in time with friends, never taking a minute to check in with each other + making sure we were doing things that inspired us, excited us. When you leave everything you know - your job, friends, family, house - all behind, and you move to a place where you have no where to call home, don't know a single soul + have no job, you quickly work out what matters most to you. For us, it's time spent together! Learn how to ocean paddle board? Sure! Learn how to surf - are you f-ing kidding me, there are sharks!! But I'll watch! Hike a mountain for fun, just to see the view? Why not! BBQ on the beach just because? Alright then!
6. You'll Realize that Nothing Changes back Home
Your heart breaks a little with every picture you see on social media of your friends + hometown, and you even shed a tear or 2 {or hundreds...} because FOMO {fear of missing out} is a REAL thing! But then you call or facetime your girls, or go home for a visit and you find out nothing changes. Your friends still love you dearly, they haven't forgotten those amazing years you have spent together, the incredible miles you have logged on the friendship highway, your relatives still remember you + find you relevant, your nieces + nephews are excited to see you and haven't forgotten that you exist. Home will always be home, and you can always go back + everything will remain the same, except for you. You will change, but in a good way. You will appreciate everything little thing you took for granted back home. You will develop stronger connection to your family friends. And every memory becomes that much better.
Moving 5,000 km away with the Pacific Ocean between you + what your "normal" life - might seem totally insane to most people. And they're right, it is. Completely + utterly insane. But it's also the most liberating, terrifying + amazing thing you can do. And I promise you {most days} it's totally worth it. So I guess I have Matt to thank for the last 365 days of personal growth. Thank you for this adventure...thank you for always making life amazing. What will the next 365 days look like?!
1. You'll Find Your Superpower
When you step WAY out of your comfort zone and have only yourself {+ your husband} to rely on - you work out what you are great at. I discovered my love of being an entrepreneur. That excitement of coming up with an idea and watching it grow {or not} into something I wanted to pursue. I discovered my love of being in control of my own destiny...a freedom I had never felt before. Somewhere in the whole trying to act like an adult thing, I totally forgot that I was the girl who at any given moment had about 9 ideas swirling through her head, I was the girl who loved to dream up her own ideas and see them come to life. Moving 5,000 km away from everything you know...everything becomes a whole lot clearer. Moving changes you. In a good way. Even if you don't truly understand what is going on, eventually it will all make sense.
2. You'll Learn to Let Go
Not just of stuff. Although I did. I emptied half of my wardrobe and donated it to my sisters + nieces. Landed in Kauai with 2 suitcases + 2 black Home Depot totes. All my worldly possessions. Plus a husband! At the time this felt like an impossible decision for me, deciding what I could bring and what would stay packed in boxes back home. I had spent years collecting the perfect items for our home...and now they were being wrapped in paper to sit in boxes for who knows how long {admittedly, I did send Matt out with 4 bags as well...and my next trip home came back with a few more boxes}. What I really mean is you learn to let go of people. Not the ones you love. Obviously. That would idiotic. But you learn who your true friends are and you learn to let go of those who aren't. The real truth lies in maintaining connections across an ocean, many miles and even time zones.
3. You'll Realize Your Inner Strength
When calling for help isn't as simple as just picking up the phone, you'll quickly rely on yourself + find that inner strength that everyone keeps talking about {but you thought was just something people kept saying}. Turns out, it actually is there. You'll learn to talk to random people, or suddenly be OK with sitting by yourself at a coffee shop, or taking your self to lunch. When you are forced to deal with a new culture + a new life, you take self discovery to a new level. You will be forced into new experiences and situations and you will find yourself doing something you never would have done before, you express yourself differently, you face fears with a renewed energy. Either way, you will surprise yourself by how capable you are at facing + overcoming all these hurdles + at a much faster pace than you expected.
4. You Never Forget that Relationships are Everything
There is nothing quite like moving thousands of miles away to really turn the spotlight on yourself + your relationship. When all you have is each other, it's hard not to take all your homesickness + frustration out on each other. That's totally normal + okay...in fact, it'd be weird if you didn't do it considering you're all each other has got. But it will also make you realize how much you value each other. You'll learn things about each other you might otherwise never known. Like how you never realized how little time you actually got to spend together but really enjoy each others company, or how your husband likes to play the same Florida Georgia Line songs while he showers + gets ready for weekend adventures, or how everyone once in while you will catch your husband singing to a song on the radio for just you to hear {rare...but it happens}. Just remember that what does not break you makes you stronger. Lame, I know. But it actually is true.
5. You'll Learn what Matters Most
Before we left Canada I was working full time and had started a side business with my sister, Matt was working full time + should have been paid for the amount of fishing he was doing...we were busy! We spent our weekends running errands, cleaning the house, squeezing in time with friends, never taking a minute to check in with each other + making sure we were doing things that inspired us, excited us. When you leave everything you know - your job, friends, family, house - all behind, and you move to a place where you have no where to call home, don't know a single soul + have no job, you quickly work out what matters most to you. For us, it's time spent together! Learn how to ocean paddle board? Sure! Learn how to surf - are you f-ing kidding me, there are sharks!! But I'll watch! Hike a mountain for fun, just to see the view? Why not! BBQ on the beach just because? Alright then!
6. You'll Realize that Nothing Changes back Home
Your heart breaks a little with every picture you see on social media of your friends + hometown, and you even shed a tear or 2 {or hundreds...} because FOMO {fear of missing out} is a REAL thing! But then you call or facetime your girls, or go home for a visit and you find out nothing changes. Your friends still love you dearly, they haven't forgotten those amazing years you have spent together, the incredible miles you have logged on the friendship highway, your relatives still remember you + find you relevant, your nieces + nephews are excited to see you and haven't forgotten that you exist. Home will always be home, and you can always go back + everything will remain the same, except for you. You will change, but in a good way. You will appreciate everything little thing you took for granted back home. You will develop stronger connection to your family friends. And every memory becomes that much better.
Moving 5,000 km away with the Pacific Ocean between you + what your "normal" life - might seem totally insane to most people. And they're right, it is. Completely + utterly insane. But it's also the most liberating, terrifying + amazing thing you can do. And I promise you {most days} it's totally worth it. So I guess I have Matt to thank for the last 365 days of personal growth. Thank you for this adventure...thank you for always making life amazing. What will the next 365 days look like?!
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