CityLife:Parties, Culture & Society

This weekend much to my surprise, I was informed that I was in the Weekend Post section of the National Post. A Mr. Jason Snider contacted my over facebook, while admitting that we did not know each other, he still wished to tell me that he saw my picture in the paper this week and that I was (and I quote!) "easily the prettiest, most photogenic girl on the Weekend Post (page WP 18) City Life spread." Now lets get a few things straight;

1. He is lying--looking at this photo makes me kind of want to throw up a little.

2. The entire world should know that the wonderful woman beside me is the best shoe salesman in the world and Jason really should have been thanking her!

3. And the prettiest thing about me that day was my beautiful cranberry peep-toe Christian Louboutin shoes. Men, what do they know!

The reason I so shockingly made it into the National Post was because of my love of high dollar shoes. Resulting in a little phone call a few weeks ago from Holt Renfrew inviting me to an exclusive PINK carpet event as they were wanting to celebrate the new Sex and the City 2 movie. There was food, champagne, beautiful women, heart-stopping shoes, prizes, gift bags, Mercedes Benz cars to drive us to the movie theatre, where they held a private screening of the movie (did I mention the free popcorn, candy and drinks we got too?). I distinctly remember looking at my girlfriend somewhere between the Christian Dior's and Gucci section of the shoe department confessing that when I died I hoped that this was what heaven looked like.

So as Calgary's newest member to the socialite club (which lets be honest, no I am really not a socialite, but have decided to induct myself into their circle) here are the some rules that I have come up with in order to survive this new life:

1. If you happen to run across a VIP, don’t freak out; just be natural and treat them like you would treat any other person. This of course would entail screaming their name hysterically, crying, and conveniently wearing a shirt with their face on it....don't freak out.
2. Don’t self-invite yourself to parties; this is extremely rude. Not to mention it’s very likely that the bodyguards will never let you in without an invitation. Seriously, this just gets awkward for you, and really entertaining for everyone else. Don't be that fool.
3. Avoid controversy and scandals as much as possible. No sex tapes, no drugs, no controversial divorces, no public breakdowns and scenes. The cover of US Weekly is not where you want to find yourself. That $1.99 magazine is not what we are aiming for.
4. Sometimes it's better not to reveal some things from your past -- for example, you had a nose job when you were still young and unknown, don't talk about it, it will only come back to haunt you
5. Be photographed next to VIPs. Photos of important people always appear in newspapers and magazines the day after an event- and you may have the chance to hit Page Six if there's someone famous next to you. But don't make it too obvious- like rushing by the closest socialite as soon as photographers enter your line of sight- that's just pathetic. Now I realize this contradicts the first rule, but lets be honest, if you want to be anybody who is somebody, you gotta do it by being next to someone who is more famous than you!.
6. Be fashionable. It is crucial that you have a sense of style and wear stylish, tailored clothes- and brand names make a huge difference. Everything you wear in public should be designer. Got it, Get it, Good.
7. In the socialites’ world, when someone mentions a name, everybody is expected to know it. Also be able to pronounce all those foreign names properly. You may want to start reading some specialty magazines. This may sound exhausting and time consuming, but necessary!
8. Find someone very rich to marry....did I just say that out loud?
9. French is a must; German, Spanish and Italian would also help. But the more languages you know, the better. Why you may ask? Well I really don't know. It just seems like what a socialite would do.

Watch out! It's a whole new world!